


By Your Side Is Where I'll Stay

by anadipity



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Steps, Healing, Hermes is a good person, Hopeful Ending, I Love You, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Supportive Thanatos (Hades Video Game), Thanatos is a good friend, Why Did I Write This?, Zagreus needs a hug, am I okay?, and he gets it, aphrodite dionysus and ares are not portrayed as good here, baby steps, no, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29449590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anadipity/pseuds/anadipity
Summary: “You were right, Than. The Olympians aren’t to be trusted.”ORZagreus is...different since his last return. But he can’t tell anyone, can’t deal with the shame of having been violated by multiple gods at once. But Thanatos finds out, which doesn’t magically make everything better. But at least it opens up the door towards getting there.
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 113





	By Your Side Is Where I'll Stay

**Author's Note:**

> C/W: mentions of rape! There's nothing graphic but please proceed with caution and take care of yourselves

_ “You’re doing great, Zag. Hnng, ah! I am almost there.” _

_ “Dionysus,” Aphrodite scolds, “don’t wear him out entirely before I get my turn with him, hm.” The pink goddess of love trails her hand along the prince’s bare torso. “I want to have some fun as well.” _

_ Ares chuckles from where he sits on a Klismos chair nearby, legs crossed as he sharpens a tool in his hands. “Aphrodite, would you be willing to share with me? There are some toys I have that would be the most fun to use with three people at once.” _

_ “Oh, that does have me intrigued,” she responds coyly. _

_ Despite his best efforts to tune out everything, Zagreus is unable to completely block out the chatter of the Olympians as they– _

The prince awakes with a start, desperately gasping for breath. Silence hangs thickly in the air, and though he’s asked for everyone to leave him alone, the quiet now feels haunting. He swallows nervously, wincing at how dry his throat feels, still raw despite however many days have passed since the incident. Or maybe that’s just his imagination. Hermes had given him a sip of nectar upon finding him. The thick and sweet liquid supposedly had healing properties, but Zagreus didn’t feel much of a difference after drinking it. Perhaps it would have been more effective if he had been able to stomach more of it down.

Zagreus wraps his duvet around himself, though he feels little warmth from the blanket. Nothing feels quite real. On a usual day (or night, or whatever time it is right now), he wouldn’t even be sleeping, would be immediately heading out on another run through the Underworld to find out where there might be flaws in the security. Collecting trinkets and nectar for his friends. Accepting boons from the gods… 

Not today. He can’t today. No matter how much his father berates him about being lazy and sloppy, he can’t. Thankfully, Persephone and Nyx seem to understand that he needs space, and the two have been toning down his father’s loud complaints. Zagreus is so grateful for both his birth and foster mothers. When they had noticed that something was off, Nyx had offered a hug and Persephone had attempted to talk it out with him. But… he wasn’t ready, still isn’t actually. Not yet. He’s not sure he ever will be.

Zagreus sighs, willing himself to get out of bed – just stand up, that’s it. But his body is sore and his legs are weak and his brain tells him that just outside the door is one of the Olympians waiting to continue where things had left off. As much as he says that fear is for the weak, Zagreus feels afraid and he feels broken. Instead of trying, he instead curls further in on himself, as if that will provide some sort of comfort or protection.

There’s a sudden knock on the door and Zagreus flinches. How pathetic that the prince of the goddamn Underworld is so jittery and agitated.

“Hello?” he attempts to call out, feeling cold at the thought that it might be someone he’s not ready to see. But his throat still feels parched and his energy nonexistent and his voice comes out as little more than a harsh whisper. For a moment, there’s no sound, and the prince begins to wonder if perhaps his imagination is once again deceiving him. The door opens after a brief pause though, quickly shutting as the guest slips into the bedchamber.

“Zagreus,” Thanatos greets. Zagreus inhales sharply because Thanatos is very near the bottom of the list of people he wants to see right now. Not like this. Not when he feels weak and frail and pathetic, when all he’s ever wanted to be in front of Than is strong and confident. But his words fail him, and all Zagreus can do is watch as his friend approaches him. “It’s been a while,” says the god of death, sitting down on the bed not far from Zagreus. Thanatos has never been much for asking permission, expecting honesty from those around him and providing the same in return. People often confuse Than’s disposition with rudeness, but for Zagreus, it’s always given him a sense of comfort because no matter what, Than says what he means. And no matter what, he accepts whatever Zagreus brings to the table. “You alright?” Straight to the point, as always.

“Peachy,” Zagreus croaks, forcing his voice to work.

The muted male raises an eyebrow disbelieving but doesn’t immediately call Zagreus out on the obvious bluff. “Nyx has been worried about you.”

“Sorry about that.”

There’s a pause of silence that should likely feel awkward but Zagreus has no emotional capacity at the moment for acknowledging how others might feel. He barely has enough room to handle how he personally feels right now. Maybe his friend understands that. Thanatos normally isn’t one to press matters, so it must say something about how concerned he is that he doesn’t immediately get up and leave to give Zagreus space. Yet he doesn’t push or pry. Instead, the god of death releases his scythe, letting the weapon disappear into thin air before he positions himself on the bed so that he can lean back against the headboard, sidling closer to the prince as a result.

The two sit in silence, but somehow, the lack of noise feels less suffocating now with the sound of Thanatos’s soft breathing in the background. After a few seconds, Zagreus is even able to lean back as well, still jittery and not quite altogether, but definitely the most calm he’s felt in a while. He really shouldn’t be surprised; Than has always had this effect on him – a calm and steady anchor by his side since childhood. Always strong, always present, always there. Yet as they grew up, and as Thanatos’s role as death became more and more encompassing, well… it didn’t take long for the distance between them to grow. But it’s at times like these that Zagreus remembers just how close they used to be, and just how much of his life is still taken up by Than’s occupancy. It’s a bit too easy to slip back into this dynamic, and perhaps this, combined with his bone-deep fatigue, is why Zagreus’s lips begin to speak of their own accord.

“You were right, Than,” he says. Thanatos doesn’t reply verbally but turns his head to look straight at him, silently asking for some elaboration. “The Olympians aren’t to be trusted.” And it’s like once he starts talking, all of his dams break. “I went up there and they invited me over for ambrosia and then–” He stops, all of a sudden transported back to that moment. The jolly laughter that they shared over the inebriating drink, suddenly turned one-sided as the Olympians continued to josh and joke while Zagreus was the only one who was silent. He had foolishly dropped his weapons and his guard, left vulnerable and open as the gods helped themselves to his body, stealing something from him more precious and irreplaceable than his virginity or his confidence.

And the worst part, the  _ worst _ part, was that in his drunken state, he hadn’t even been able to control his body. As he had cried out and begged for it to end, his body had betrayed him, growing aroused and needy and compliant. Maybe… maybe he’s making too big a deal out of this. Maybe he deserved it. Maybe he  _ wanted _ it, and should have just relaxed and enjoyed it. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel like this right now. It wasn’t just that he had lost his trust in the world; he’s even lost his trust in himself.

Zagreus is brought from his dissociation by a cold hand placed on his cheek. He flinches at the unexpected contact, but upon realizing that it’s just Than, he allows the touch to return. The hand’s twin settles on the opposite side of his face, thumbs brushing to wipe away the tears that had begun to fall at some point, though Zagreus can’t recall when.

“They–,” the prince begins, or attempts to but his voice quickly falters.

“Hermes told me.” Zagreus recoils sharply as if burned by the words. Thanatos’s hands hover in the air, as if not realizing that they are no longer holding anything. The death deity lowers them to his lap but does not release his gaze. “He thought someone should know. But I wanted to wait until you were ready to talk about it.”

“Do… does anyone else know?”

“No. And it will stay that way until you decide otherwise.”

Zagreus exhales deeply, sighing in relief. The anxiety in his blood doesn’t dissipate, but… There is no real but, honestly. This doesn’t change what happened, doesn’t change anything. Zagreus wants to be angry, wants to be better, wants… Hah! What does it matter what he wants? The prince finds himself chuckling under his breath, softly at first until the laughter builds up and up until he’s howling maniacally. “You– you can say ‘I told you so’ now Than! You were right! And now look at me, fucking look at me!” And just as quickly as they had begun, the laughter ends, transforming into sobs that rack through his entire body. “Don’t look at me, Than.”

He expects… he’s not sure what he’s expecting honestly. Maybe for Thanatos to up and leave and give him space until Zagreus is finally able to hold himself together for more than a brief period at a time. He’s not expecting for his friend to wrap his arms around him, pulling Zagreus close, tucking him in an embrace that has him feeling  _ safe _ for the first time in what feels like so, so long. It’s then in the dark of his room, held by his closest companion, that Zagreus at last allows himself to fully break down.

He’s not sure how much time passes before his sobs turn into whimpers and his whimpers turn into silence. Thanatos continues to hold him close though, readjusting into a more comfortable position that leaves Zagreus sitting in his lap, not once letting go.

“I’m looking at you, Zagreus,” Thanatos begins after a moment. He keeps one hand wrapped around the prince as the other is moved upwards to Zagreus’s head, fingers running through his hair and lightly scratching at his scalp. “I’m looking at you, and what I see is my best friend, who’s been unjustly wronged in the worst of ways, but who survived and who continues onwards regardless. I see the kind and strong man you’ve always been, and the impossibly kinder and stronger man who you’ll someday be.”

Zagreus breathes fully and deeply for the first time in days. “You give me too much credit, Than.”

“And you don’t give yourself enough.”

The prince hums noncommittally, allowing himself to relax his head against his friend’s shoulder, burying his face into the crook of the neck, somehow cold yet cozy at the same time. Perhaps this is a position that’s far too intimate for just friends, but if that’s the case, neither of them says anything. Zagreus feels his breath even out, and the world becomes less and less clear with each inhale. He’s not sure if he’s awake or asleep when he feels the soft press of lips against his forehead and hears a quiet “I love you” whispered in his ear. Either way, he gets the best sleep that he’s had in days. And when he eventually awakes, Thanatos is still cradling him, safe and gentle, by his side and there to stay.


End file.
